Friday, January 22, 2010

Conan The Rastafarian?

Dear Hollywood,

Please stop making movies!

Everytime I read something about this movie my testosterone level goes down a notch! It's almost as if some new age peace love guru from the sixties and seventies is directing this monstrosity. Next I'm going to hear about how the Cimmerians were a peace loving peoples who lived in a pristine wilderness until the evil Aquilonians destroyed their people and culture. Now Conan will take revenge.

There's no way that the director of this movie could have read any of the original R.E.H. books and come up with this. Actually nobody could've read any of the Conan pastiches and come up with this. I'm going to pretend that there's no Conan movie coming out and just call it something else.

Read about the horror here!

Thanks to Deuce at The Cimmerian for posting this.


Eli Arndt said...


I am sure that some Hollywood guy figured they needed to "ethnic" Conan up a bit and also give him a hipper, edgier look that would appeal to today's audiences.

I have no doubt they will make the Cimmerians out to be even greater victims than they were in the original Conan movies, though at least in that one there were no qualms made about the fact that Cimmerians wrre badasses in their own right.

Any bets on how crazy they make his sword for this movie?

Atom Kid said...

His sword will probably look like a surfboard, like the one in Sword of the Beserk.

Why portray Cimmerians as victims anyways. We know from the books that they were basically like the dark age Irish. And there's actually no reference to Conan's people being wiped out.

I was hoping that with more info out there on the original Conan, that the director would get it right. Every time I read something about the book I just cringe.